Good morning. I would like to formally register my complaint about this thing called daylight savings time.
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Widget. Mr. Widget for those of you who do not know me well enough to be so familiar. And I would be embarrassed to tell you what my Person calls me. I doubt it can be translated into printed form, as it requires pitching the voice into ridiculous tones.
This daylight savings–could someone please explain to me the purpose? My Person was up early this morning, and typing away at the computer. Please! It was still snuggle time, and Person must hold me just so, under her neck, so that I can feel the pulse and the heartbeat. Yes, I know that requires that she must support me using one arm, and that Person finds it difficult to type with only one hand. But truly! Let’s have our priorities straight here!
And my Person began to fix breakfast before I made my vocal request for the meal! What’s up with that? I am a regulated animal. My body is fine tuned to tell me when it is time to be fed. I never fail to let my Person know that it’s getting close to time to prepare my meal. My Person understands all the signals–the gentle nudges, the tiny squeaks, and Person never doubts when I speak loudly to announce that dinner is late!
I do not like my routines to be upset. Please return to our normal schedule at once.