and carrying forward the best of 2012…
My word for 2012 was OPEN. It was a marvelous word. It will travel into 2013, assisting with the new word for the year. I wrote this earlier in the year as I pondered the effects of OPEN:
Early morning writing. Thinking about OPEN. How when I allow it, I see so much more. Sometimes not even until after the fact.
How often do I–without thinking, brain on autopilot–observe something and say: oh that’s just not me. oh that’s too frilly, too pastel, too something that I’m not. But when I’m OPEN, or as is more likely, when no other choice is immediately available, I find that playing with something outside who I think I am opens the door to more of who I really am, and the me I am becoming.
Choosing a stamp out of limited supplies at a workshop. Reluctantly picking one and thinking I’d never buy this. Too floral. Not edgy. Using a light blue color ink that I’d pass over in the store–too pale, too pastel.
Then the amazing surprise of the effect of the light blue on the teal green cardstock, the stamp giving definition to the torn paper, turning it into wings.
Sketchbook Challenge subject this month is flowers. My instant reaction? Oh, that’s just not me. Too “pretty”. I’m not into drawing flowers. I’m not a flowers kind of girl.
Well, yes, I am. I like poppies. I like abstract flowers. I love the riot of color that explodes in a mixed bouquet. I love having flowers in my home (although I haven’t in years due to a plant-eating and vase-knocking-over cat!)
So where does this come from? This reaction to things that really isn’t true at all? Do I have this image of a me that I think should be? Is it an old image that needs to be recycled? I know that I only show parts of myself to others, but what about myself? Am I hiding wonderful bits of goodness of me from myself?
OPEN is proving to be such a big word for me. I think of myself as open-minded, of being thoughtful, of considering alternatives, of being an explorer. But several times this week I’ve had a thought that sticks and found that it takes effort to move beyond the “instant answer” and OPEN myself to more possibilities.
I’m so much more than that. There’s so much more of me for me to discover.
And discover I did. And am still.
The word for 2013?
It’s going to be an excellent year!